The Bookworm Diaries
by Hermione 2000
Summary: RH. Hermione's diaries of her 5th year. Told in the style of 'The Princess Diaries'.
1. The Truth, the whole Truth and nothing b...

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The Bookworm Diaries

A/N. OK, this is a little idea I've been sitting on for quite some time. Basically it's Hermione's diaries, kind of written in the style of 'The Princess Diaries' (Michael rules), 'The Secret Diaries of Adrian Mole' (could he _be _any more naive), and 'Yo Diary!' (Seb, Seb, Seb, what is there to say?) I was thinking about the title at 4 o'clock this morning and first came up with 'The Mudblood Diaries' but didn't much like the racist implication of the title so I changed it.

And, yes, I'll admit it, I got bored of writing 'Mashed Potato' so it can just end where it ends. I couldn't for the life of me think of how to bring them together and I suck at romances so perhaps it was all for the best!

The main theme is R/H, btw, would I write any other pair? And it's set in their 5th year.

Anyway, let's see how this goes....

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Chapter One: The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!

1st January, Girls Dormitory

My New Year's resolutions will be:

To not let Harry and Ron persuade me to do anything stupid and/or dangerous this year.

To stop thinking about using 'Sleakzeys Hair Potion' on anything other than a special occasion. I like my hair.

To maintain my high grades.

To not stoop to Draco Malfoy's level when he insults me.

To stop _almost_ thinking about RW in a more-than-friends type of way.

To stop thinking about RW in an I-want-to-strangle-him sort of way.

To remember all birthdays.

To beat Ron at chess.

To be more understanding to Harry, the last few months have eaten him up inside. I can't understand what he's going through but I can at least try.

To stop writing lists, there's no point; it's the only schedule-type-thing I never follow.

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2nd January, Girls Dormitory

I was cold today. 

It's winter. That is expected. 

I really must try to write something interesting in this diary! I have been keeping one ever since I came here and I look through it and find things like 'Got 100% in test' and 'it's raining' and other pointless phrases like that. I want to write a diary that, in a few years, I can read back with interest and remember how I felt and what I thought. I haven't been honest, I'll admit. When Ron and me fight I'll write things like 'Ron and I fought today. We always fight. It doesn't matter' but I know it _did _matter to me at the time. I know how I felt but I didn't say it...I didn't want myself to know how much I was hurting.

But it's going to change, starting now!

Yes, the list above, I suppose I better address one issue I have barely even touched upon before. I've been trying to deny it, but the fact is, how ever much I don't _want _it to be, it is. OK, I'll say it in plain English. 

I think I might be starting to like Ron.

No, not _like _him, I've always _liked _him (the majority of the time anyway) but I like him more than I did before. I could explain it as 'I fancy him' or 'I have a crush on him' but, frankly, I don't talk like that so I'm not going to write like that. 

I have _feelings _for him, that's how I'll describe it. These feelings will go away, they have to, I can't fall for my best friend.

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3rd January, Gryffindor Common Room

Lessons start again tomorrow. Naturally, I am quite prepared and my peers are running around like headless chickens trying to get the homework done. You'd think they'd _learn! _That's the point of school and life, to learn from mistakes. But they do the same year after year; they leave their homework to the last day then I have to step in. 

I might be being slightly harsh here, I don't know if _everyone _else does the same but I know Harry and Ron do. 

The most infuriating thing is that they don't listen to me then it's _my _faultwhen it's not done. For example, I had a conversation with Ron on this very issue just five days ago;

'Ron, I _know _you haven't even _started_ that essay for Flitwick yet. It has to be three feet. You're not _doing _anything at the moment, why don't you do it now?' I said to him, whilst he was lolling about in the Common room.

'Oh Hermione, stop nagging, I'll get it done. You know I will! I have plenty of time. Can't you mind your own business? And, as it happen, I _am _doing something important at the moment, thank you very much!'

'You're fusing two chocolate frogs together.'

'Exactly! It's called "fun," ever heard of it? That's what you're meant to _do _during the holidays have "fun." F-U-'

'Yes I know,' I snapped at him. 'Fine, have it your way, but don't expect me to help you on the day before it's due in!'

'Don't worry, I won't!' I heard him shout after me as I retreated back to the girl's dormitory.

It's the day before it's due in and he wants me to help him. He's already asked me three times and keeps scowling over here. I'm going to go and help him. I know I shouldn't but I'm going to. Maybe it's because I know I can and even when I told him I wouldn't I knew I would and...I don't know...maybe I'm just soft. Going soft over my best friend. What's wrong with me?

A/N. *just laugh and they won't notice that it was crummy* Ha ha ha, that was good, wasn't? Yes, anyway, I was going to make this a chaptered story but I think I'll just forget that idea. It can be a stand-alone. Maybe I'll leave writing up to the professionals...

Disclaimer: I don't really even own the layout, I stole it from the authors in the above mentioned books. JK owns the characters and I own nothing!:}


	2. Panic Stations!

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The Bookworm Diaries

A/N. Hehehe, I said I wouldn't write anymore but I lied. That's because people have told me to write more (or they might not have, I could have imagined it) and, well, I want to! And, wow, I've found a theme for this fic! Other than Hermione droning on and on about how much she likes Ron but he doesn't like her back (though, obviously, he does.) And I finished off 'Mashed Potato.' What a good little girl I am! 

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Chapter Two: Panic Stations!

4th January, Gryffindor Common Room.

Ron did get it finished in time. And I only had to help him a bit. It always surprises me though, when he comes up trumps. 

People always say I'm smart but I'm not, not really, I'm book smart, not naturally clever. Ron and Harry do half the work I do yet their grades are passable, where as I know if I worked like they did, my work wouldn't be nearly as good as theirs. I guess you could say I'm jealous. I don't like working, whatever people say, I do it because I have to. I do it because I want to show people that even though I am from Muggle heritage I can do anything pure-blooded wizards can. Sometimes I wish I were blonde, that could be another battle won.

Back to my problem. I can't talk to anyone about it. I mean, Ron and Harry are my best friends and everything but if I told Harry he'd tell Ron and if I told Ron...I'd be telling _Ron_, which would completely defeat the object of me going to someone to ask for help on how I could tell Ron. I can see it now;

'Hi Ron, look I've got a problem. Could you help me?'

'Sure, what is it?'

'Well, you see, I've liked you as more than a friend for some time now but I have no clue how to tell you without feeling stupid...'

'Hmmm, I see your problem...'

Well, at least thinking up that little scenario cheered me up.

I also though of writing to 'Martha's Magical Problem Solver.' She has a column in Witch Weekly but I wouldn't know what to write. Would it be along the lines of:

Dear Martha,

I currently attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I've been friends with this boy for quite some time but now my feelings have grown beyond those that are right for a friend. I want to tell him but I don't think he feels the same way about me. Besides, he's not really the sort of person you could go to with a serious problem like that. He's cute, smart, funny but not serious.

What should I do? 

Yours Sincerely 

S. Tudent

Because that's not going to be read out in the Great Hall when somebody gets hold of a copy. And they won't set out looking until they've found the one responsible for writing it a.k.a. me, and hound that person until they are too embarrassed to come out from under the cover's ever again! Of course not. Besides that letter did tail off towards bubblegum towards and end _and _writing a letter to that shallow, feminist magazine is getting towards the obsessional side of desperate. 

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4th January, Transfiguration

I know, I know, _why _am I writing in my diary in the middle of Transfiguration? I decided to carry my diary around with me in lessons so if any thing exciting _did _happen I could record it straight away. And I _have _finished my work. I heard Ron comment to Harry a minute ago that I was 'probably doing extra work, you know what she's like' so I doubt they'll be bothering me.

I caught myself staring at him today. I'm glad _I_ was the one that caught me or it could be rather embarrassing. I _know_ I like Ron but no one else does, if you catch my drift.

I can't help but appreciate every little thing about him. His hair, his freckles, his laugh... I can't believe I might have to leave all that behind when I finish school. I can't imagine not seeing him everyday. What if the line of work we take drags us to opposite ends of the earth? I might never see him again. I might never tell him how I feel.

Oh, goodness, there was something important I had to write down which is the very reason I got my diary out in the first place...

IT HAS JUST BEEN ANNOUNCED THAT THERE IS TO BE A VALENTINE'S BALL!

Oh God, what am I to do? I'll admit, the last ball was fun, Viktor was so nice and I actually enjoyed being the centre of attention and getting jealous stares from other girls. But I'd have rather been my plain self and with Ron. I wanted him to ask me. I wanted him to ask me so badly that I _almost _said 'yes' when he resigned to having me as his last resort. Obviously I wasn't good enough to be his first choice. Luckily, I had more pride in my heart than feelings for him so I said no. It was the right thing to do.

Should I ask him? No, I can't, he wouldn't want me. It was only yesterday I saw him turn his head as one of the prettier Hufflepuff's walked by. He's shallow but, then again, is there a guy who isn't? (A/N. Sorry guys, I'm talking from experience)

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5th January, Girls Dormitory

How long do I have until the ball? When is Valentine's day anyway? Somewhere around the 14th February. Argh! I've already overheard Harry and Ron discussing whom they're going to go with. Harry's going to ask Parvati Patil again (don't know why, he hardly paid her any attention at the last ball) and Ron was talking about asking a girl from Hufflepuff he'd got to know from Herbology, Amanda Griphorn. Could this have been the girl he was staring at the other day? If so, I have no chance. She has long blonde hair and she's extremely pretty. I don't mean to sound snobbish but I've always perceived her to be a bit of an airhead.

I shouldn't be feeling things like this for Ron. They're not right. Ron will never reciprocate my feelings. 

I just wish someone would tell my heart that. 

A/N. So there you have it. Oh, and before you moan at me that, by rights seeing as I am a R/H fan, I should have got Harry to ask...dun dun dun...Ginny to the ball. I haven't because I don't like her. So he's asking Parvati because she was the first person I could think of.

Disclaimer: JK and Warner Bros. (this time in two weeks I'd have seen CoS!!!!!!!!!!!) own Harry Potter and I _think _I own Amanda Griphorn but if you do, and it was lodged in my brain from reading your fic, I will change it! 

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	3. Hermione's FailProof Plan

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The Bookworm Diaries

A/N. Isn't it amazing how in these type of books, the person writing the diary can remember _exactly _what conversation they had with someone? I can't! So, because everyone else does it, I'm going to do it too. 

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Chapter Three: Hermione's Fail-Proof Plan.

6th January, Gils Dormitory

I have a plan. There's a Hogsmeade weekend this Saturday (10th January) and I am _going _to ask Ron to the Ball. I will. _Nothing _can stop me. Except Harry. I can't ask him in front of Harry. I may not be as boy-clued as Lavender and Parvati but I know asking a boy something like this in front of his mates leads to humiliation – on both the girls and boys part. He wouldn't think it over he'd just be like 'Yeah, Hermione, like I'm going to go with an ugly, know-it-all like _you_' but if I asked him _alone _he may just say 'Yeah, Hermione, like I'm going to go with a know-it-all like you' which, with the 'ugly' taken out of it, seems slightly less hurtful. He may even consider it. He may even say yes, or is that going to far? I _have _to get Harry out the way. But I've been thinking all day and nothing springs to mind. Here was one idea 'Look, Quality Quidditch Supplies have a new stock, run Harry run, run over to the shop, find out I'm lying and come back.' I don't think so. But I have come to a conclusion;

I'll have to tell Harry.

But telling Harry I like Ron, is like telling Ron I like Ron and that's just messy. Can I trust Harry not to tell him? Or when Ron comes over will he whisper idiotic things like 'Oh, here comes your _boyfriend_, Hermione' really loud so he hears. (A/N. And that's definitely not what one of my friends does to another friend coughBeckycough) No, Harry's more mature than that. I can trust him. I'll probably only have to threaten him a bit.

I'll tell him tomorrow, I'm tired from today. A sixteen-page essay on the demise of Grindelwald is no mean feat.

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7th January, Girls toilets, break

I did it, I actually did it. Wise or not I did it. I told Harry I liked Ron. I was rather surprised he wasn't, well, surprised. He just nodded knowingly and....OK, hang on, I'll start from the beginning.

The first problem I had was to get Ron out the way. 

'Hey Ron,' I could say cheerfully. 'Would you mind getting out the way whilst I tell Harry to get out the way so I could ask you to the Ball? Would that be OK?'

What a nice little situation. 

Seriously, it wasn't too hard; I didn't have to do anything. Well, almost... Before we went down to breakfast I kind of _misplaced _Ron's essay from his bag. It was simple. All I had to do was _casually _mention the essay at breakfast, he'd realise he'd left it in the Common Room and have to go up and get it, leaving me and Harry alone.

It went as planned.

'Ron,' I asked, as he helped himself to scrambled eggs. 'Did you actually _finish _that essay? Last time I'd looked over last night you'd written your name and were playing with Exploding Snap cards.'

'Yes I finished it!' he snapped back at me. 'And I'll show it to you though it might not be up to _your_ flawless standard!'

It was too easy.

Irritably he started scrambling in his bag. I watched as his ears turned red.

'Well?'

'Think I left it in the Common Room, I'll go get it' he mumbled. 'I _have_ done it!' he snarled at me, as I couldn't resist a smug look in his direction.

Harry shook his head and continued with his toast after watching Ron leave.

'Hermione, maybe you can be slightly too harsh with him, I mean...'

'Oh Harry, be quiet a minute, there's something I have to tell you, it's really important!'

Alarmed at my tone he looked up attentively but I faltered, finding this harder to say than I thought and thanking the founder's who made the Gryffindor Common Room far from the Great Hall.

'So spill Hermione. Is it something Ron can't hear?'

I nodded, swallowing my bacon with difficulty.

'Listen, Harry, I'm trusting you with this and if I tell you, you have to _swear _not to tell anyone. Please Harry?'

'Sure, fire away.'

'_Swear it!'_

'Yes, yes, I swear it. Now tell my before I die from the suspense.'

'OK,' I took a deep breath; it was now or never. 'Would you mind tomorrow, at Hogsmeade, leaving me with Ron for a bit?'

It was too much to hope that he'd just say 'yes' and not ask why.

'Sure but, why?'

'Do I have to tell you?'

'Mmm hmm'

'I kind of, you know, want to ask Ron to that, um, that Ball thing coming up. Just as friends,' I added hurriedly, hoping that maybe he wouldn't see through this. But Harry is a real star and didn't say a word.

'Oh, OK, yeah.'

'You won't tell Ron?'

'I won't tell Ron.'

'He hasn't asked the Griphorn girl yet has he?'

To my surprise he laughed.

'Hermione, please, don't feel threatened by _her_. I know Ron and he wouldn't really ask her.'

'I'm not feeling _threatened _by anyone I just...'

But there was no further discussion for at the moment Ron returned, brandishing his essay, looking extremely self-satisfied. 

'See, told you I did it,'

I just smiled.

So, break has been the only available time to write this down and I couldn't do it in the Common Room. I know Ron wouldn't mean to do it spitefully (I hope he wouldn't) but he may take my diary and read it to tease me. I don't know what I'd do if he ever got hold of it. Luckily, Moaning Myrtle hasn't been paying me much attention, she's crying in the U bend of the furthest toilet.

If Ron rejects me too horribly on Saturday, I might be down there with her.

A/N. Ooooh, a man (OK girl) with a plan. What do you people think Ron will say? Hahahaha, well, you'll just have to wait to the next chapter where I'm going to skip a few days and start slap-bang on _that _Saturday!

Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter I'd wouldn't be here writing fan fic, I'd be in Scotland writing the real thing. And my name would be JK Rowling. 


	4. Unexpected

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The Bookworm Diaries

A/N. OK, Hermione starts having doubts about asking Ron. Nooo! I worked out a plot later on last night after seeing Chamber of Secret's (it was the cute bit at the end between Ron and Hermione that inspired me, I think.) It was absolutely amazing, if anyone wants to know about it I've written a review on my website (on my profile.) Go to 'Updates' and it will tell you!:}

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Chapter Four: Unexpected

10th January, THE Saturday, Girls Dormitory, about five in the morning.

I'm having doubts about asking Ron. No, I haven't lost my nerve...its just pride decided to poke its ugly head around the corner when I woke up this morning. I remember the last Ball and what I said to Ron after it, something along the lines of 'You know what the solution is don't you? Next time there's a ball, ask me before somebody else does.' So me asking him would just _completely_ change that. Should I just forget about that and ask him anyway. I mean, I _was _angry...he probably doesn't remember it anyway. But what if he does? What if I ask him and he brings it up? 

I've been trying to weigh it out...pride, Ron...pride, Ron...Ron appears to be winning. Could it be that I like him so much that pride doesn't matter? Should I just get on and do it?

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Still 10th January, THE Saturday, The Three Broomsticks bathroom.

Nothing could have prepared me with what happened. Perhaps it didn't happen, perhaps I dreamt it. I think I might be in shock, my head's spinning. I'm going to try and write down _exactly _what happened then I can look at it clearly.

Well, everything went as planned. I was quite nervous (though I kept asking myself why) so I didn't talk much. We shopped around Hogsmeade for about an hour until Ron suggested we went to The Three Broomsticks. A flashing red light appeared in my head and a voice saying 'Danger, danger, Will Robinson'...no, wait hang on, it said '_Now is your chance, nudge Harry, nudge him, NOW's your chance, DO IT!' _I nudged Harry and gave him a meaningful look. He grinned at me.

'Guys,' he said, 'Can I meet you there? I just want to quickly check out Quality Quidditch, won't be a minute.' 

'Yeah, sure,' I heard Ron reply, through the sound of my beating of my heart.

As I watched Harry walk off I realised that I loved him so much, he's the greatest friend you could ever ask for. It would be so much easier if I loved him the way I love Ron...he's much better tempered.

We walked in silence until we reached the door of The Three Broomsticks. 

'I'll get us a table,' I said, trying to act normal. Something in my voice must have given my nervousness away because he looked at me oddly before speaking.

'You want a butter beer, yeah?'

I nodded.

I squeezed through the people to the nearest table whilst he went to the bar. As I watched him a kind of cloud settled over my brain, leaving no room for nervousness. I started thinking, well, daydreaming really about him. What if, somehow, he felt the same way about me? What would I be like to snuggle (A/N. Love that word) down in a chair with him in the Common Room, in front of the fire? It would be snowing outside but we'd be the only one's there. We wouldn't fight, of course, he'd just sit there, stroking my hair, occasionally saying something, something loving like...

'Hermione? Hello, you in there? The vacant expression's worrying me!'

I snapped back to reality to see him staring at me across the table.

'Ron, I was...just, um, thinking about...stuff' I finished lamely.

'Herm, you sure you're OK?' he sounded worried. 'You've been acting really strangely.'

He led me right into it but, like an idiot, I didn't take the cue.

'Yes, I'm fine,' I replied.

We sat in silence for a while, but it wasn't an awkward silence, it was just silence. Then we both started to speak. 

This is where fate or something stepped in. I told Ron to go first. Had I not, the results may have been different.

(A/N. This would make such a good ending. But, like you, I want to know what happens, so I'll have to keep writing.)

'Hermione, look, there's something I, um, I want to talk to you about.'

He sounded nervous. I wondered why, I was meant to be the nervous one. Of course, I still hadn't worked out what he was about to say.

'OK, say it.' I said, not trying to sound impatient. 

He wouldn't meet my eyes but started at his butterbeer.

'This isn't easy for me...in...in...light of what happened last time. But last time I made a mistake, it was my fault. So I'm going to say it this time...'

He stopped and looked up, as if I was meant to know what he was talking about.

'Ron, you've lost me.' I said simply.

He took a deep breath, chanced a half grin at me and said;

'Hermione, would you, um, would you like to go to the Ball with...with me?'

A/N. What will she say? OK, maybe we know what she'll say but how will she say it? (I'm genuinely asking here, I don't know until I've written it.)

Disclaimer: I own nada.

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	5. How Quickly Things Change!

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The Bookworm Diaries

A/N. I've just had a five hour art exam today, FIVE HOURS! My, my...anyway I want to thank everyone who's reviewed so far and ...who told me that I hadn't made Hermione too soppy over Ron, which is a relief because I was pretty sure I had! Anyway, this continues where the last chapter left off...

Chapter Five: How Quickly Things Change!

What he said was so unexpected all I could do was sit and stare at him until he became uncomfortable. He lowered his eyes from mine;

'I...um...I didn't really think you'd want to I just, well, after what happened last year...and what you said...'

So he did remember.

'No!' I said, maybe a little too quickly. He looked back up at me and I faltered.

'No...I mean yes. That would be, erm, that would be...nice.'

OK so maybe my response wasn't the most articulate thing ever said but it is excusable.

Ron brightened after I said this.

'Really? You know, it's funny, I asked Harry ages ago if he'd mind popping off for a moment today so I could ask you. Just as friends.'

Harry! The...the...he _knew, _he knew all along. Ron had asked him, then I'd asked him and...argh! What must it look like from his point of view? This didn't register in my brain until after the conversation. What I actually thought after he'd said this was why he'd added the last bit. I was in no delusion that he was asking me to go with him as _more _than friends. I know how he feels and he doesn't like me in that way. 

We looked at each other awkwardly for a bit until Harry came through the door. Finally! I made my excuses and went to the rest room. Are they talking about me out there? Are they...no, I have to stop it. I'm going with Ron to the Ball and that's all that matters. Besides, maybe something will develop between us. Maybe.

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11th January, Sunday evening, Gryffindor Common Room.

Life couldn't be better. As far as I'm aware Ron and Harry have finished their homework and I'm going with Ron to the Ball. 14th February. I can keep on reasonably good terms with him until then, can't I? I think the news that we're going together has traveled quickly. Or else I'm imagining things. I was on my way to the library to return 'The History of Arithmancy' when I passed the Hufflepuff, Amanda Griphorn. She looked at me as if...as if I was something her owl had done on the floor. The way she turned her nose up was enough to make my blood boil but I have self control so I did not retaliate. I've known she likes Ron for some time now. I think our entire Herbology class does by the way she flirts with him. Personally, I don't know what she sees in him...or what I do for that matter. Now there's a question that could do with an answer!

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Monday, 12th January, Cloud 9.

I'm behaving like a complete idiotic schoolgirl about this. On the outside I'm just, well, me...but on the inside I feel...grrrr, I don't really know! I just want to shout out to the world how I feel about him; I want to tell _him_! He asked me to the dance, he _actually _asked me! And, luckily, I'm only one of a few girls that can see how adorable he is (Amanda Griphorn being one of them...Herbology was _not _fun yesterday.) I have to get on with this Potion's essay _and _revising...we have a Potion's test on Wednesday. Easy stuff but Harry and Ron haven't even started revising yet. I'll nag them tomorrow, too happy today!

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Tuesday, 13th January, depth of despair.

I should have known it was too good to last. I started it. Suppose I just better get on and write it; Ron and me had a blazing row yesterday, over some _stupid _little thing. Now he hates me and, to all appearances, I hate him. We're not speaking (nothing new there then.) 

I've just read back through Monday's post, how quickly things change! Did I _actually _believe it would work, that we had a future? Or was it just wishful thinking?

It happened this evening. We were sat there revising, Ron opposite me. I was staring at him (discretely, I might add) loving everything about him, his hair, his freckles, the way he smiled...wait a minute, he just smiled, he is NOT revising. So, naturally like the stupid fool that I am, I stomped towards him and... Ack no, I can't even bear to write what happened! Do I really want to be an old, lonely woman in my rocking chair reading word for word how I messed up my life at the tender age of 16? I don't think so. Let's just say we fought. I mean, it _started _over the revising then went onto other irrelevant things as arguments so often do. And it ended with him yelling at me; 'Fine, it _that's _the way you feel about it you can kiss going to the Ball with me goodbye! It's not like I can't get someone better than you!' To which I replied that I didn't care and that if he could get someone better than me he shouldn't have asked me in the first place. Yes, I _know _Dear Diary that I shouldn't have provoked him, and I know I should have tried to repair the situation when realising I was loosing him. But I was angry and hurt. Hurt because I knew what he said was true. He _does _deserve better than me.

A/N. I am SO SORRY this has taken me so long to get right. I wrote most of it after my art exam (about a month ago) but then I've had the mocks and just general laziness and I haven't posted this. Thanks to Leesa's review, egging me to finish this, and everyone else who cares! But, the good thing (well, good for me anyway...) is that during my art exam I planned another songfic to one of The Calling's songs and then a couple of nights ago I heard the lyrics to a song by Bowling For Soup which just screamed R/H! So I'll be writing them about nowish...

Disclaimer: Purlease, like I'm talented enough to own these characters. 


	6. Nerdy Gilly

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The Bookworm Diaries

A/N. Haha, look, I've written this quickly! I can update more than once in a month, I can!

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Chapter Six: Nerdy Gilly

12th February, Library.

Yes, I know Dear Diary. It's nearly the Ball and I haven't written to update on the Ron situation since _it _happened. As you know, Ron and I fought and, as you also could probably guess, we made up. Ish. I'm afraid to say we are not going to the Ball together, but perhaps it's for the best, I mean, we'd probably end up fighting and spoiling everyone's evening anyway. As soon as it got round Ron and I were no longer going together, Amanda Griphorn snapped him up at once. Honestly, I don't think I've ever seen her move faster across the greenhouse in my life. She asked him, right in front of me. Have you any idea how much that hurts? To be rejected before anything has even begun? Anyway, he smugly said 'yes' which put me in a furious temper for the rest of the day. That past, we made up after a week or two of stony silence but our friendship can still be a little frosty, especially when Amanda turns up, pawing at him like a puppy.

The real reason I wrote, Dear Diary, is to inform you that I, Hermione Granger have another date for the Valentines Ball. Gilbert Moon has just asked me and I was more than happy to accept.

Gilbert Moon is Ravenclaw in my year that I often meet up with in the library to discuss our studies. He has blonde, hair, glasses, is extremely bright yet quite shy and quiet. To tell you the truth he reminds me of Professor Frink from 'The Simpsons,' but that's just a personal observation. I was very surprised when he asked me seeing as getting him to say more than 'yes' or 'no' of 'that is interesting theory but would it work if put to the test' or other little quirks work-related, is a hard thing to achieve.

I like Gilbert, really I do...but I'd rather be with Ron.

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13th February, Girls Dormitory.

Aha! Attack of the green-eyed-monster. Well, maybe. Ron, who has previously been unaware of Gilbert (or Nerdy Gilly as he has affectionately started calling him), seemed a little peeved when I announced who was going and the conversation took place as follows:

__

'Who on earth_ is Gilbert _Moon_ when he's at home?' Ron said to me in complete and utter bewilderment._

'I meet him in the library sometimes. You know, glasses, blonde hair...' I replied.

He laughed somewhat cruelly.

'Oh you don't_ mean Nerdy Gilly do you? I see why you two would make a great couple!'_

'I would appreciate_ it if you called him by his name and I _don't _see why you should be bothered, Ron Weasley, seeing as you have found the perfect replacement for me in Amanda Griphorn.'_

His smile faded a little.

'Who was it who said boobs beat brains? Ah, I believe it was me!'

It was lucky I had put 'The Advanced Guide to Arithmancy' down or I'd have smacked that self-satisfied smirk of his shallow face.

****

13th February, Girls Dormitory

Did I say yes to Gilbert to provoke a reaction from Ron? If I did then it's backfired, apart from the conversation yesterday and the odd comment when Gilbert greeted me in the corridor, he has said nothing about it. I want to ask Harry if Ron's said anything about me but I didn't want to sink to that obsessive level. My plan for tomorrow is to just have a good time, as I did with Viktor at the last Ball. I will not be ogling over Ron. I am above that. 

A/N. Didn't like this chapter, it was more of a linking one before we got to the Ball. Hehehe, nearly Christmas everyone! 

A/N2. I'm writing a songfic to a song by The Calling, btw, it's not looking too good at the mo but I'll put it up when it's finished!

Disclaimer: Thanks to Andy for the phrase 'attack of the green-eyed monster.' He has a very unique way of putting things sometimes. JK owns everything else, including the name 'Moon' which I took from PS. I, however, made up Gilbert but Professor Frink belongs to FOX who own 'The Simpson's'...I think... 


	7. The Best Approach

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The Bookworm Diaries

A/N. Sorry, sorry, SORRY I haven't updated for ages. But I have written a songfic called 'Could It Be Any Harder' and have started a songfic by Bowling for Soup in the mean time though. I have also had...wait for it...real life (yes people, the sad truth is that I DO have a life outside fanfics) to contend with as well. So, excuses over and done with, here's the next chapter, which by the way, probably won't be too happy because I am anti-Valentines day!:}

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Chapter Seven (yes Jo, Chapter Seven, it is finally here): The Best Approach

14th February, Girls Dormitories, 1 hour before the Valentines Ball.

Look at me! Just look at me! I'm shaking so hard I don't even know _how _my writing is legible. And, to top it off, I don't even know _why _I'm shaking. I wasn't even this nervous at the last Ball, and then I was going with an internationally famous Quidditch player! Why am I so nervous about going with Gilbert? I'm not, that's the thing, but, if I'm not nervous about going with Gilbert what _am _I nervous about?

There I go again, lying to my diary! I really must get out of this habit. I know perfectly well why I'm nervous, it's admitting it that's the problem. I hate these thoughts going through my head, they're not right, they're not the thoughts Hermione Granger, prefect of Gryffindor house, should be thinking. But I am thinking them. 

I'm nervous because I want to show Ron I'm good enough for him. I want him to regret replacing me. I want him to get down on his knees and _beg _me to reconsider. I want Amanda to look nothing compared to me. I want Ron to notice me.

There, isn't that awful? But it's what I'm thinking. Now, as far as I can see, I have one of two choices. I could go out there, banish these thoughts to a long-forgotten part of my mind and have fun or I could act on these thoughts, saunter out there and dazzle the world with my beauty, and, by doing so, loose all respect by those who see me as a frump role-model. Which to choose?

****

14th February, Girls Dormitory, Midnight.

So I chose the latter? Is that really so wrong? Was it wrong to want someone, to change for just one night? Was it wrong to be someone I'm not?

All right, so I know the answer. 

****

15th February, 3am

Can't sleep. I feel awful. I cannot believe I did that, who did I become last night? What did I become? A jealous hormonal cow, that's what. I suppose I'd better bite the bullet and spit out exactly my deeds of last night.

It seemed to be going well at the beginning, as tragedies do, I mean, look at Romeo and Juliet, one minute all smiles then WHAM, there as dead as the occupants of Elsinore. As you can see I'm delaying information with Shakespeare, as I so often do. Right, so I walked down the stairs to the Common Room, nearly falling but just managing to keep upright, when I see Ron. Now Ron's facing the other way but, as soon as I see him, I forget about my precariously high shoes and begin to walk a little faster down the stairs and...do I really need to continue? Any cliche expert will be able to see what happened next. Well, my perfectly groomed body hitting the floor with a noise like a small hippopotamus dancing is going to get anyone's attention, so naturally, Ron turns round to see me on the floor, my dress robes over my head, in a very embarrassing position. (A/N. Something along these lines happened to a friend of mine at school and I have written it in my 'Favourite School Moment' for the year book for all the world do see. Oh yes)

I could see he was trying not to laugh as various members of my house helped me up, Harry being one of them. It rather hurt me to see Ginny also trying to keep a straight face.

After saying 'thank you' to those kind souls who helped me get untangled, I walked out of the Common Room with as much dignity as I could (which, I might add, wasn't much, seeing as half of Gryffindor house had just seen my underwear.) As the portrait hole slammed shut on me I could hear guffaws emitting from the Common Room, one's in which I knew Ron would be participating.

It was going to be a long night.

A/N. It's OK, I won't take another year to get out the next part, I'll go right now and started writing. I have actually forgotten about what's been going on in this story today, I've just had to skim all the past chapters to see if I've already mentioned who Harry's going with. I haven't, I don't think, so that'll have to be revealed next chapter (but people who know me will know who it WON'T be.)

Disclaimer: JK owns everything. Sad isn't it? Oooooh, just remembered, have to finish this by June 21st! 

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	8. The Raging Beast

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The Bookworm Diaries

A/N. Yes, chapter eight, there we are then....

Chapter Eight: The Raging Beast

At this point I had managed to block out the humiliation (which, by the way, is returning) not knowing that the events that were about to follow would drive them from my mind.

I was squeezing though the assembled bodies in the Entrance Hall in order to find Gilbert when I saw Amanda Griphorn. She looked stunning. Her long blonde hair had been crimped and her pale pink dress robe turned many a head (and quite a few girls stomachs, I might add). 

That was my rival. 

As much as I long to explain what happened next, I can't or, to use the old phrase, I simply do not know what came over me. When I saw her waiting for him, I was overcome with such jealously that I saw red...or green...whatever. I saw Gilbert sidle towards me out the corner of my eye but I no longer cared. Dropping my shawl to the floor, I marched across the Hall to where she was stood. I saw a vague surprise cross her face as I stood before her. But her expression quickly changed. 

I don't know what made me do it, I don't even remember making a conscious decision to do it but the fact was that I did. 

I slapped her so hard across the face that the noise echoed across the Hall, everyone fall silent. Well, nearly everyone.

'_Hermione_!' shouted a voice from behind me. 

It was Ron. He had seen everything. 

I looked for the shocked look on Amanda's face, to the rage in Ron's then the disbelief in Harry's. 

And I ran.

The best idea would probably to have gone sobbing to Moaning Myrtle's bathroom and stayed there but, alas, my mind was not rational and, half way down the corridor, I stopped and turned. I was still angry. Why should I be ashamed? Why should I let that spoil my evening? I wish I could tell you that I thought about how poor Gilbert Moon must be feeling but, I'll be honest Dear Diary, I didn't. I didn't think about him at all. Just myself. So I walked back, walked back to where an apologetic Ron was trying to calm down a shell-shocked Amanda, who was milking the slap for all it was worth, with tears and cursings.

The first person to notice I had returned was Harry (many of the others, seeing no bloodshed, had got bored and had filtered into the Great Hall to begin the evening.) He motioned me to go away, signaling that I shouldn't let Ron see me. Without taking heed to his warnings I stormed over to Gilbert, grabbed the flabbergasted Ravenclaw by his hand, and pulled him with me over to them.

I have to admit that, witnessing this, it must have been quite impressive to see them turn to see me, identical looks of rage on their faces and me, standing there triumphantly, about to say a good one-liner to finish them off but...the one-liner didn't come. For the first time in my life words had failed me. I just stood there getting redder and redder under their accusing stares until Harry, trying to recover the situation grabbed me (with Gilbert still attached to my hand) and pulled me into the Great Hall, away from Amanda and Ron. I was distressed to see that he too was angry with me.

'What the Hell do you think you're playing at Hermione? What's got into you? You can't just go around slapping people!'

'She deserved it!' I hissed, trying to get away from his grasp, but he held me firmly.

'Hermione. Listen to yourself! You're acting like a madwoman. Just calm down and LISTEN TO ME!'

That made me stop struggling, it wasn't customary for Harry to raise his voice, not to anyone (unless their last name happens to be Malfoy) and I was surprised.

'Thank you,' he said calmly as he let go of me. 'Hermione, I know you're upset but please, let me reason with you, reason with yourself!'

Now, I think I should explain. Up until that point slapping Amanda had seemed a perfectly good idea. It appeared to make sense in my mind; you don't like someone you slap them, simple. But, after hearing those words from Harry, whatever had overtaken me stopped.

__

'Oh God what have I done?' I gasped as realisation of my irrationality had hit me. 'Oh God, what am I going to do? What am I going to say?'

It was amazing how many times I'd gone from confident and self-assured to a gibbering mess that evening. I genuinely didn't know what to do but Harry, a pillar of strength in such emergencies, ordered me to go sit down with Gilbert at the table and he'd go and speak to Ron.

By this time Gilbert was shaking with fear and flinched when I turned to him to apologise for my behaviour. Whispers followed me until I sat down at the table and I could feel myself getting hot with embarrassment as I thought of what I'd just done.

About five minutes later Harry, Ron and Amanda entered, the latter two giving me evil looks. Harry, still keeping his rationality, sat them down as far away from me as possible and proceeded to tell me not to approach them for the rest of the evening, an instruction I could have done without.

After supper the tables were put away and the music began. Determined to salvage the rest of the evening, I asked Gilbert to dance (which is what we're there for) and he stammered a yes. I don't think he had ever expected his bookworm date to turn into a raging beast.

If I had thought the evenings events were over, I was dead wrong.

A/N. Yes, I'm going to stop there! And, the good thing is, I now have a plot for this (handy that.) It's sorted in my mind what's going to happen so I can sleep easy now! 

OK, so I said I'd introduce Harry's date. I haven't. Because I don't know who it is. I'll introduce her next chapter, k?

If you're sat there thinking 'Hermione wouldn't do that, she waaaaay out of character' which, I admit, I would be, I can tell you she's MEANT to be out of character. This is Hermione and how she really feels, everyone goes psycho occasionally, even the most patient person, and this is Hermione's day!

I'm in the middle of writing chapter 9 at the mo, which is to be released on Valentine's day. I'll warn you know, if you're alone on Valentine's Day I wouldn't read it, it will make you extremely depressed!:}

Disclaimer: JK owns all except Amanda Griphorn and Gilbert Moon. Oh and the whole thing about Amanda turning boys heads but girls stomachs was based roughly on something Black Adder once said to the Prince Regent. Aaaah, such a funny man...


	9. Happy Valentine's Day!

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The Bookworm Diaries

A/N. I have to say that the last chapter was my favourite so far! This chapter is very depressing, I was going to submit this on Valentine's day just to be sadistic but FF.N's member thingy wouldn't let me so, to cut a short story even shorter, I'm submitting it today!:}

Chapter Nine: Happy Valentine's Day

I managed to stay away from Ron and Amanda for the next few hours (courtesy of Harry Potter, I think.) I was dreading explaining the whole situation to some inquisitive person who came up and asked but I think the majority of people were scared of me and stayed out of my way.

Just when I thought things were looking up, I lost Gilbert. Not that I blame him, poor fellow. I'd gone to get a drink and when I'd returned; he'd gone, probably to quiver under a table in the library somewhere.

Feeling slightly hurt and rejected I haughtily found an empty seat and sat down. Looking round the dancing couples, I caught sight of Amanda and Ron and, was ashamedly delighted to see Ron looking thoroughly bored and fed up, whilst Amanda chatted away. I saw Ginny and Colin Creevey, Lavender and Parvarti pared of with Dean and Seamus, Harry and some Ravenclaw girl who was quick enough to snap him up, Neville and a shy-looking Hufflepuff...and me. I was quick to realise that I was the only one who wasn't dancing. 

I was the only one not to have anyone on Valentine's Day.

I continued to punish myself by watching Amanda and Ron, thinking how happier he'd be if he was with me and none of the evening's events had occurred.

I must have been staring for a while because the next thing I knew, Amanda had seen me and, realising I was humbled and alone, walked across the dance floor towards me, a smug look of triumph on her face. Knowing this moment had to come I stood to greet her.

__

'So, did you slap Gilbert too Hermione? Is that why you're alone?'

Harry, sensing danger as only he could, left his Ravenclaw and stood beside me.

'Amanda...' he started, warningly. By now Ron had caught up with her and was stood by her side, silently looking at me. 

'Let me finish!' she spat at him before turning back to me. 'Oh no, I forgot, you're always going to be alone, aren't you? Alone with your books and your thoughts. Or maybe it's because you've set your sights to high, Hermione. Maybe it's because you're pining after someone who will never return your feelings. And you know that don't you? You know Ron will never be more than your friend, and now I doubt he's even that. Slapping people he's interested in isn't going to turn you into a winner. You're a loser Hermione, a looser.'

She needn't have said it. I knew that already.

Naturally, all who were listening gasped at this and waited with anticipation. How was I going to react? Would I deny my feelings for Ron? Would I cry? Would I slap her again? But the fight was out of me. All I did was raise my eyes from the floor and look at Ron. I had only one thing left to say.

__

'Happy Valentines.'

So there it was, the one-liner I could have done with earlier. It had finally come. Better late than never, I suppose.

Naturally, I left.

I felt as though I was doing the walk of shame as I ran out of the Great Hall. The argument must have been louder than I thought, because everyone seemed to have heard Amanda confess _my_ love for Ron Weasley.

I didn't let the tears flow until I had reached my dormitory. Tears of shame, anger and love coursed down my cheeks as though they'd never stop.

I'd never forget tonight.

****

15th February 7am.

I'm going to have to face it, face Ron. I don't know what to say; I don't know what to do.

I really am a looser. 

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16th February, 9pm, Girls Dormitory

I hardly spoke to anyone today, but, then again, no one spoke to me. Too ashamed or too scared of me, they made me feel like an outcast. Except for Harry, he's my rock.

I received sniggers or amused looks as people passed me in the corridors; people I didn't even know were judging me on what they saw of me last night. Is this what society has come to? Ron didn't speak to me. I suspected he would have if Harry had not intervened. I only saw Amanda once, thank goodness. She smirked as she walked past me in the corridor on her way to speak to Ron. There was no need for any snide remarks or mean comments from her. The damage had already been done. She had won, and we both knew it.

The only person who acted no differently towards me was Harry. He carried on as if last night had not happened and was perfectly friendly to me, though he has no reason to be.

It's somewhat ironic (A/N. Hermione 2000 shudders at the evil word) that although everyone acknowledges I am in disgrace, not one person has considered asking _me _about it. They're all quite happy to discuss it amongst themselves but know one wants to know the real motive behind it. Though, of course, they can probably guess. I mean, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to work out I did it because I was jealous. I've been trying to think of another reason why I might have done it but I can't.

I never was very good at lies.

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17th February, Midday, Alone, Gryffindor Table.

Nothing much changes today, hopefully the masses will get bored soon as they find another victim to prey upon.

Ron's going to confront me about it, I know him too well. He's itching to do it; I can see it now. But he's wondering which approach to take. He wonders whether to yell at me or be sympathetic and awkward. I prefer the first one. I'd rather have a full-blown row with him; I can't stand awkwardness between us.

I keep thinking in a few days everything will go back to normal, Ron will forget that I love him and we'll continue being friends. But that's not going to happen, not now.

Curse February 14th.

A/N. Next chapter will be up when I write it!

Disclaimer: I own the sadism but JK owns all the rest. And some romantic wally called St. Valentine's I do believe, invented Valentine's Day and is to blame for that.


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